First, let's talk about the acronym: ESV. The official sources say that it stands for English Standard Version, but this is merely hiding the truth. You see, ESV backwards is VSE, which stands for Vienna Stock Exchange. It also stands for Vancouver Stock Exchange, as well as Vadodara Stock Exchange and Varaždin Stock Exchange. Why so many stock exchanges related to this acronym? That's because the ESV is a thinly disguised plant by the New World Order of bankers, seeking to take over the world. Don't believe me? Let's use some basic logic: you need money to buy an ESV; banks have money; Q.E.D., the ESV is connected to banks.
If you still don't believe me, you should know that the government, who is run by the banks, is responsible for the ESV as well, and is attempting to sneak sin and vice into our bibles by using the ESV translation. Let's take a look at this acrostic algebra, which is exactly the same methodology Christ and the apostles used when handling scripture:
Do you want to see something truly horrifying? Compare the logo of the ESV with the symbol of the Hindu faith. The truth may shock you, but if you look carefully...you'll see that the ESV logo is a thinly disguised version of the Hindu symbol. Don't believe me? Observe:
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but get reincarnated a lot, possibly into a snail, or a cow if he's lucky." [John 3:16]Heed my words: avoid the ESV - it is the devil's translation. Still don't believe me? Look at this other verse from the ESV, which I totally did not edit to leave out certain words to thus prove my point:
Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the LORD...Satan... [Job 1:6]See! It calls Satan "lord"! What kind of Bible translation calls Satan lord?! That's completely counterproductive to the whole purpose of the book! I bet Satan was on the advisory board. Hey wait a minute...look at this excerpt from a page listing those who had a hand in the ESV translation...
Dr. Luder G. Whitlock. President, Reformed Theological Seminary, Jackson, MS.HOW MUCH MORE EVIDENCE DO YOU PEOPLE NEED?!
Dr. Tetsunao Yamamori. President, Food for the Hungry, Scottsdale, AZ.
Dr. Robert W. Yarbrough. Associate Professor of New Testament, Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, Deerfield, IL.
Rev. John W. Yates II. Rector, The Falls Church, Falls Church, VA.
Satan, Prince of Darkness, Hell, MI.
As I close my post, let me just say that this post is 100% serious and I love Akira Kurosawa films. One of those statements is true.