Podcast: A Christmas Shoes Rant

In this podcast, I listen to and rant about the song The Christmas Shoes, with some help from my wife.



Here's a link to the original blog post.

Merry Christmas!

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. [John 1:14]

Consequently, when Christ came into the world, he said, “Sacrifices and offerings you have not desired, but a body have you prepared for me; in burnt offerings and sin offerings you have taken no pleasure. Then I said, ‘Behold, I have come to do your will, O God, as it is written of me in the scroll of the book.’” When he said above, “You have neither desired nor taken pleasure in sacrifices and offerings and burnt offerings and sin offerings” (these are offered according to the law), then he added, “Behold, I have come to do your will.” He does away with the first in order to establish the second. And by that will we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all. [Hebrews 10:5-10]

A "Last Christmas" Rant

So as many who read this blog know, I have an undying abhorrence for the song The Christmas Shoes. For those who are new to this vendetta of mine, read my post here. However, I thought I would take a break from lamenting the "Thomas Kinkade of Christmas music" to talk about another song. This song is none other than 1984's Last Christmas, sung by the British duo Wham! It was a huge hit when it was released, but I know a few people who hate this song, some of whom refuse to even be in the same room where it's playing.

Now, I personally don't necessarily hate this song (not on the same level on which I loathe The Christmas Shoes), but I can understand why other people dislike it. I thought it would be fun to examine it on this day, the eve of Christmas, and discuss just why some people are repulsed by this holiday diddy. Let's start, like we did with The Christmas Shoes, by reviewing the lyrics:

Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Here is perhaps my biggest gripe about this song: it isn't really about Christmas. There's no mention of Jesus Christ. There's no mention of Santa. There's no mention of snow, sleigh bells, shopping sprees, or the like. What's it about? It's about a romantic break up! Why in the heck would you write a Christmas song about that? Why not write it about something equally depressing? Observe:

Last Christmas I ran over my cat
And the very next day I took out my dog
This year to save me from tears
I'll keep the car in the garage

Geez Louise  people. Granted, some might legitimately contend that there are far more depressing Christmas songs out there. For example, Bob Geldof's Do They Know It's Christmas?, released about that same year, makes reference to world hunger. Other songs, such as the Reggae Santa Clause (Do You Ever Come to the Ghetto?), speak for themselves. However, I think what makes Last Christmas stand out is the fact that it really, truly isn't about Christmas in the sense that it maintains a Christmas theme like other songs do. For example, look at the lyrics that follow the chorus:

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance but you still catch my eye
Tell me baby, do you recognize me?
Well, it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me

I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying 'I love you,' I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now I know you'd fool me again

All right, so some might argue that the "wrapping" and "giving" parts of the song might lend itself towards Christmas, but keep in mind that gift giving and gift wrapping are not always associated with Christmas, and can happen at other times throughout the year. The fact is, these lyrics could fit with any other song. Still don't believe me? Look at the other lyrics:

Crowded room, friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice
My god, I thought you were someone to rely on
Me, I guess I was a shoulder to cry on

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man undercover but you tore him apart
Ooh hoo, now I've found a real love
You'll never fool me again

Seriously, if you were flipping through radio stations, came across these lyrics being sung, and had never heard the song before, you would never guess it was a Christmas song. I'll admit I don't know the back story to the song being written, but it wouldn't surprise me if it was originally written without a Christmas context, and the bit about Christmas was added to make it marketable for the Holiday season. You could literally fit it into any other holiday. Observe:

Last New Year's I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

And again:

Last Yom Kippur I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

And yet again:

Last Kwanzaa I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Heck, it doesn't even have to be a holiday, just choose any day of the week. Observe:

Last Thursday I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This week to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

See?! I got lyrics to top the charts. I mean this whole song just feels like a generic romance song they converted into a Christmas song. You could do this with other songs for the same effect. Observe:

Where oh where could my baby be
Last Christmas took her away from me

See? I took a song about a fatal car crash that claimed the life of the narrator's girlfriend into a Christmas song! Sure the rest of the song has nothing to do with Christmas, but who cares? I got the word "Christmas" in there, it's officially a Christmas song. Now all I need to do is make a music video with a bunch of young couples wandering around a ski resort shooting angsty looks at each other, and I'm good to go!

Joseph and the Christmas Story

When I was young, and was only really familiar with Roman Catholicism as a form of Christianity, I often wondered just why the Virgin Mary was so heavily emphasized in the Christmas story. While her giving birth to the Incarnate Word is of course something that should be discussed (it was a vital part of the Nestorian controversy in the fifth century), I felt a slight tinge of sadness for Joseph, who seemed to almost be entirely overlooked. In most depictions of the family in art and movies, they tend to portray Mary as young, physically attractive, and full of life, whereas Joseph is almost just your average middle eastern man with nothing to make him stand out from any other character. Sometimes he's even portrayed as appallingly ugly.

As I began to study the Gospel of Matthew, it became edifying to really study what scripture says of Joseph's character and his contribution within what we know today as "the Christmas story."

Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: when His mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child by the Holy Spirit. And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly. [Matthew 1:18-19; NASB]

This is the first place we encounter Joseph in the New Testament, wherein he discovers the pregnancy of Mary. It has been brought to my attention by a good friend that some pastors attempt to paint a bad picture of Joseph here. They attempt to portray him as a jerk, as if he's just a big meanie for wanting to divorce Mary, like he's a deadbeat dad. They portray Mary as being stuck with this abusive husband seeking to divorce her at the drop of a hat. Permit me to put some things in context:

Firstly, being betrothed at this time was the same as being married. It is not like today where you are still considered single and available until that ring goes on your finger, or an engagement can be called off with no problem whatsoever. Two people betrothed were essentially married before the ceremony, and were expected to be loyal to one another as if they were married. Adultery and divorce laws were relevant as soon as two people were engaged.

Secondly, Joseph didn't know that Mary's pregnancy was by the Holy Spirit. Joseph will not become aware of this until verses 20-23, where an angel tells him in a dream that Mary is pregnant by the Holy Spirit and her child will be the Messiah, which compels Joseph to accept Mary as his wife afterward (v. 24). Until then, he hadn't the foggiest idea God was behind this pregnancy.

Thirdly, it had been some time since their last meeting. If we compare Matthew's account with Luke's, we see that, upon Mary's visit by Gabriel (Luke 1:26-38), she goes to Elizabeth in Judah (Luke 1:39-40) where she stays for three months (Luke 1:56). In three months time, she probably looked pregnant to Joseph when they next met. Place yourself now in Joseph's shoes: your betrothed has gone away for three months and has now returned pregnant, and all you know is the child isn't yours - how would you react?

Fourthly, we have to understand Matthew's use of "righteous man" and "not wanting to disgrace her." These two terms are interconnected - Matthew calls Joseph one because of the other. By the Law of God, Mary could be stoned for supposed adultery (Deu 22:23-24) - the problem was, society had degenerated at that point. It had come to the point where someone who transgressed the law - especially an adulterer - was made an example of before everyone else. This is what is meant by the word "disgrace," which in the original Greek refers to putting on display or on show. We see this first and foremost with the woman caught in adultery in John 8:2-11. She was about to be stoned publicly despite the fact the man she was committing adultery with had not been taken along with her, and hence her stoning was being used as a display of punishment. It was this kind of situation that Joseph was seeking to avoid, hence his desire to divorce Mary secretly. This would have only required him giving a bill of divorce before two witnesses, and then she could go away without any harm done to her.

These four factors present a very different picture of Joseph. Contrary to the image of a cruel man looking to drop Mary out on the street barefoot and pregnant, we see the image of a man who sincerely cares for Mary and wants to protect her from the harm their society could have possibly inflicted upon her. Any fault on Joseph's part in his desire for divorce was merely out of ignorance - once he was informed that her pregnancy was by the will of God and not the act of another man, he took her in and took care of her.

We see this care for Mary in the second chapter of Matthew's gospel, where we also encounter King Herod's maniacal obsession with killing the supposed Messiah. After the departure of the magi (Matt 2:12), Joseph is warned in a dream to get up and depart to Egypt, for Herod is seeking the child's death (Matt 2:13). We see Joseph wake up and immediately take Mary and the infant Christ to Egypt (Matt 2:14). Joseph does not dally nor question God's will - he gets up and goes literally in the middle of the night. Interestingly enough, the original Greek reads in verse 14 that Joseph took "the Child and His mother" (τὸ παιδίον καὶ τὴν μητέρα αὐτοῦ), not "his child" or "their child" or even just "Jesus". Remember, the child was not even Joseph's - it had not come from a consummation between himself and Mary, but by the work of the Holy Spirit. Yet Joseph, at the behest of God, takes Mary and the infant Christ in his arms and escapes with them to Egypt, saving them from the death that would afflict the infants of Bethlehem some time later (Matt 2:16). He treats the infant Christ with the same fatherly love and concern as he would have a son of his own, and Mary with the same tenderness as is owed her as his wife.

From all this, we find Joseph to be a man of respect. He was a man who served God faithfully as the adoptive father of the Incarnate Word and the husband of she from whom He took flesh. He wanted to do all things rightly, but without robbing the right to life from anyone else. We are to speak of Christ's earthly family during His life, let us not forget to give Joseph the just appreciation due to him.

Why I Hate "The Christmas Shoes"

I love the Christmas season, and have loved it since I was a child. I loved wearing a jacket for the cold weather, I loved the eggnog, I loved the carols, and I loved the gathering together with friends and family - but of course, the best part was the Christmas story itself, with the angels, shepherds and wise men announcing the arrival of Christ, the Incarnate Word. Yet there's a darker side to the Christmas season, and I don't mean the Grinch sneaking around stealing cars. I mean an evil side stemming from the marketing aspect of it. Every year there's at least one made-for-TV movie, one Christmas special, one song, or even a sermon or two that misses the whole point of the season, capitalizes off the more emotional parts, and ends up being nauseating.

One of the most timeless nauseating "classics," however, is NewSong's "The Christmas Shoes." It's about a man in a line at a store near Christmas, and in front of him is a little boy trying to buy shoes for his mom. The boy explains that his mom is near death, and he wants to get her something nice for Christmas. As the boy doesn't have enough money, the narrator pays for the shoes.

I first heard about this in 2006, and it was in a negative light. In fact, the vast majority of people I've spoken to since then say they hate this song. One old high school friend accurately summed it up nicely as "the Thomas Kincaid of Christmas music." Yet there are apparently die-hard fans of this song out there, and apparently it made NewSong plenty of money to warrant more album deals. None of this I can fully understand. Why?

First thing's first, let's talk about the background of the song. Did you know that this song is based off an email forward? You know, those goofy emails sent around, with themes like "Bill Cosby criticizes Qaddafi" or "Look out, most milk men spit in your bottle." Apparently "Christmas Shoes" is based off of one of those, which is already a bad sign. Don't believe me? Here's a source:

In 1999, the Christmas Shoes story began circulating on the internet. The touching story about a little boy whose mother was dying at Christmas, and his quest to find the perfect pair of shoes for her to wear in heaven, came to the attention of Eddie Carswell of NewSong. Eddie began writing a song inspired by the story. [source]

This makes perfect sense given that the song has all the traits of an email forward: a ludicrous scenario, unrealistic exchanges between people, an obvious bias slant, and a moral lesson forced upon all the previous. But before we continue, let's take a moment and review the lyrics of this song.

It was almost Christmas time, there I stood in another line
Tryin' to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Christmas mood
Standing right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiously
Pacing 'round like little boys do
And in his hands he held a pair of shoes

Why is this little boy standing all by himself in a major store so close to Christmas? Where is his family? Did they just forget about him? Did he run away from home and they didn't go out looking for him? Aren't any of the store managers concerned about this little boy running around on his own? Most places of business dislike unaccompanied children because, if those children get hurt, they might get sued. It's a liability issue no one wants to deal with. Someone needs to seriously call Child Protection Services on this kid's parents stat.

Any way, the kid gets up to the register, and says the famous chorus of the song:

Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile

So his mother is sick, probably bedridden...and he wants to buy her shoes? Why? She ain't gonna put them on! What is she going to do, sleep like the Stupid family? Why not something like a necklace, a wristband, a ring, something nice she can wear that doesn't impede with her rest? Why not a stuffed animal or something that can be put by her bed so she can see it as she lays there? That sounds much nicer, much more sweet, and much less expensive. Why does it have to be shoes? I can just hear some people saying, "You misunderstand, the kid just cares about his mom - it's the thought that counts." If it's "the thought that counts," then the gift is irrelevant - Q.E.D., buy something else.

Some might have also noticed I cut the chorus off at the last line. That's because it stands out for me:

And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

I'm sorry, this part of the song I can never take seriously. It reminds me of the famous exchange between Charles Bronson and a mugger in Deathwish 2 (warning, violence):




By the way, NewSong is a Christian group, and this is supposed to be a Christmas song, but this is the only mention of Jesus in the entire song. You know what I want my mom to wear when she meets Jesus? His white robe of righteousness, which He already paid for on the cross (Rev 3:5, 18, 7:13-14).

He counted pennies for what seemed like years
Then the cashier said, "Son, there's not enough here"
He searched his pockets frantically
Then he turned and he looked at me

Oh, great, he's a leech.

By the way, let's pause here to discuss the price of shoes. At most stores, you can get a fairly decent pair of tennis shoes for $20-25. A nice pair of women's shoes are a little pricier. So we're expecting that this kid is probably seeking about $30+ for a pair of shoes his mother might wear for a few minutes before keeling over.

He said Mama made Christmas good at our house
Though most years she just did without
Tell me Sir, what am I going to do,
Somehow I've got to buy her these Christmas shoes

Why? Buy her something else, kid! Why's it gotta be shoes? Why's it gotta be these stinkin' shoes? Go to the dollar store and find something simple but sweet to get her. The fact his mom is dying and it's Christmastime is emotionalism obviously meant to tug at our hearts and make us forget how silly the entire concept is.

"Oh no, I don't have enough money! What am I going to do?" Get a job, kid! Earn those shoes! I can't buy all the nice gifts I want for my family, you don't see me going around begging people for the money to do so.

So I laid the money down, I just had to help him out
I'll never forget the look on his face when he said
Mama's gonna look so great

Yes, teach the kid at a young age to rely on other people's money for all his benefits.

By the way, you know what I would immediately think if I was in this situation? I'd think the kid was being suckered in by his parents to commit some kind of scam. Don't believe me? There are panhandlers who do this sort of thing for a living. In fact, panhandlers can give much more convincing stories than a mother on the verge of dying and hence she needs shoes. I'd probably contact the store manager and let him know kid is accosting his customers for shoe money.

Here's the worst part of the song, in my opinion:

I knew I'd caught a glimpse of heaven's love
As he thanked me and ran out
I knew that God had sent that little boy
To remind me just what Christmas is all about

Are you serious? I mean...ARE YOU SERIOUS? YOU'RE SAYING THIS IS WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT? Buying some kid shoes?! You mean the birth of the Incarnate Word, the Eternal Son taking on flesh, the infinite taking part in the finite, the Messiah who would absolve men of their sins through His death and resurrection...that doesn't strike a chord with you? What's more important than that? Wait...buying gifts for people? Ah yes, good, commercialization is much more important than that baby in the manger.

Some might jump in here and immediately accuse me of not liking the song because it's not a musical catechism. On the contrary, I'm not looking for a deep theological discussion on the mysteries of the incarnation that would make Athanasius dizzy. I can name plenty of Christmas stories that have a better grasp on the Christmas message than this song without heavy religious overtones - A Christmas Carol, It's a Wonderful Life, and the original A Miracle on 34th Street are a few that come to mind. Even A Christmas Carol, which isn't all that Christian when you think about it (there's no "Ghost of Christmas Past" in the Bible) and whose author wasn't the most Christian of men, displays a far greater tie to the true meaning of Christmas. Scrooge's final repentance and regeneration says a lot more than shoes. Even It's a Wonderful Life, ignoring its use of a guardian angel, presents a nice message that one of the greatest gifts is the life God has given us.

But I'm sorry...buying a kid a pair of shoes his supposedly dying mother needs? That's supposed to compare? The worst part is the lead singer is belting this out like it's some great epiphany, as if he just discovered the meaning of life and we're all supposed to drop our jaws.

If that's not enough, let's look at the music video, which features NewSong with shots from the movie cutting in every now and then. For starters, each shot has the lead singer lip syncing with every other member looking away or down for some unknown reason. It's like they're embarrassed to be with the guy. Observe the two most used shots:

It gets even more clear in some of the shots where you can see the other band members closer. Check out the pic below - the guy has a look on his face as if he's thinking, "Remember the paycheck...remember the paycheck...remember the paycheck..."

The video also abuses the dissolve transition. It reaches a ludicrous mark near the end, where the editor decided to dissolve between these three shots:

The middle shot is literally on screen for maybe like one second. It looks like an editing mistake they forgot to fix. Even if it was intentional, what was the point? Sergei Eisenstein you are not. Need another example? Look at the last three shots of the video, each one being separated by a dissolve.

Good thing they showed both those shots of the band again. I was worried that the second shot was NewSong in an alternate universe, and if they hadn't had shown them again, I would have assumed they had been stuck in space-time purgatory. By the way, see how foggy it looks in that second shot? That's not JPEG scarring, that's literally how it looks before it cuts away - they don't even finish fully dissolving to the shot before dissolving to the next shot. To quote Tom Servo: "Just because you can edit doesn't mean you should."

The final bit about the video I found weird was what the kid was wearing while out shopping. Take a look at the picture to the right. That boy is walking through what can only be 15-degree weather with snow pouring down, and he's wearing a light collared shirt with a shirt underneath, jeans, tennis shoes, a jeans jacket, and no gloves. Good job, kid - your mom is going to die this year, but now you'll catch pneumonia and die next year. Man, these are gonna be the best two Christmases his father ever had.

No wait! Wait wait wait! Since people are trying to capitalize off this song, I have an idea! Let's make a sequel! The Christmas Shoes 2: The Revenge. This time, it's the kid's dad who's dying around Christmas! And so, the young boy knows what he must do! Contact family and friends? Dial 911? Make sure dad's will and life insurance policies are in order? No...he's gotta go out and buy MORE SHOES! He's gotta buy the best pair of shoes for his dad! But oh noes, he forgot his money...aha! But a plucky young man steps in and pays $100 for that pair of jack boots the kid just has to have, and the boy returns home triumphant, not realizing that he made a total stranger just spend all his food money for the next few months, leading his family to starve in the cold. And so, returning home, the kid puts those boots on his dad a few seconds before his father passes, and then he can throw them away...

...and that, my friends, is the true meaning of Christmas.

UPDATE - DECEMBER 4, 2012: ...SONUVAGUN THEY DID MAKE A SEQUEL!!!!

Merry Christmas!

Come, Desire of nations come,
Fix in us Thy humble home;
Rise, the Woman's conquering Seed,
Bruise in us the Serpent's head.
Adam's likeness now efface:
Stamp Thine image in its place;
Second Adam, from above,
Reinstate us in thy love.

Hark! The Herald Angels Sing,
Glory to the Newborn King.

"Retooning the Nativity"

Found this courtesy of my sister in Christ Shari, who by the way has a nice blog that is worth checking out. The following deals with some common misconceptions behind the popular images of the Nativity, but in a tasteful way.

What Child is This?

One of my favorite Christmas carols growing up was the song "What Child is This?" It tells of the birth of Jesus, and in its purest form goes like this (to the tune of "Greensleeves"):

What Child is this, who, laid to rest
On Mary's lap, is sleeping?
Whom angels greet with anthems sweet
While shepherds watch are keeping?
This, this is Christ the King
Whom shepherds guard and angels sing.
Haste, haste to bring Him laud,
The Babe, the Son of Mary.

Why lies He in such mean estate
Where ox and ass are feeding?
Good Christian, fear: for sinners here,
The silent Word is pleading.
Nails, spear, shall pierce Him through,
The Cross be borne, for me, for you.
Hail, hail, the Word made flesh,
The Babe, the Son of Mary!

So bring Him incense, gold and myrrh;
Come peasant, king, to own Him.
The King of Kings salvation brings;
Let loving hearts enthrone Him.
Raise, raise, the song on high,
The Virgin sings her lullaby:
Joy, joy, for Christ is born,
The Babe, the Son of Mary!

I first came across it as a ten-year old, finding it in a beautifully illustrated Christmas carol book my family had. I fell so in love with it that I memorized the lyrics and practiced the tune on the clarinet. Perhaps therefore people could forgive me when I was utterly shocked that, attending a Catholic Christmas mass that year, they played that song...and changed the words! The chorus of the first part replaced the chorus of the next two parts. I was shocked even more when I heard a Vanessa Williams version of the song that completely took out the second part.

This latter point - the removal of the second part - seems to be the most common change made to the carol. One can only wonder why this is...perhaps the most obvious is, at the risk of drawing a hasty conclusion, the inclusion of the description of the crucifixion. One rarely hears of nails and spears piercing someone through in a Christmas song. I was originally going to focus this post entirely on the carol and the second part, but my mind (as it often does) began to wander around the point, and I began to think harder on this issue. Namely, how we seem to focus solely on one aspect of our Blessed Lord's life.

The fullness of Christ is the fullness of His life. He was the Incarnate Word born into our sinful flesh, Who lived a pure and blessed life, Who suffered as the sacrificial lamb, and Who rose again to free us from the death that separated us from God. Due to our natural habit of thinking in limited terms, it's quite easy to fall into the trap of limiting our acknowledgment of Christ's life. Doing so, however, limits our understanding of Christ. If we can forget about the crucifixion at Easter, it's only easy enough for us to forget about it at Christmas.

It is a pity this is lost in the marketed atmosphere that has become the music world. Millions hear a carol in an edited form, and not because the carol or individual singers are at fault, but because our society as a whole is focused on forgetting that which is important and spiritually edifying. Yes, it may not be "nice" for us to remember that in thirty years that little baby we see in the manger looking so sweet and innocent will be a man beaten, spit upon, mocked, and crucified...but it will be salvific.

The only popular version of the song that I have heard in complete form is the version sung by the very talented Johnny Mathis. I'll give Johnny the last word.